Welcome back avid readers, unfortunately this semester started with a run...hence why you haven't heard from us in AGES! But FEAR NOT! Your favourite blog extraordinaire is back at it again, and I'm going to get very candid.
If you haven't seen them already, please go and vote for your favourite charity fundraiser presentation (they're on our facebook page). The presentation with the most votes gets a vote added in our total tally in class. There are some really good ones! Now I could tell you about how fun planning a fundraiser is, or how excited I am to raise money for Special Olympics, but I think it would defeat the purpose of this blog. Sometimes I feel as though I am not honest and real and open with you, and so I would like to take this opportunity to talk a little bit about the struggles that I and many other students also have.
When I was in grade 12 I developed an anxiety/stress thing. It started small but in high pressure situations I wouldn't be able to stop crying, or I couldn't stop squeezing my hand, jiggling my leg or control my breathing. It eventually got to the point where I was having chest pains that would stop me from doing anything for anywhere between 2-10 minutes. If I am being honest, it was scary. I felt as though I couldn't control myself which was terrifying.
Then I moved here to the U of L and I didn't have this problem anymore, the new people, the new school, the new home did me good and I didn't have chest pains, anxiety attacks or nervous ticks. I was over it, I was a brand new person, I was free from it all!
Recently, something in my personal life triggered it again and I found myself back in the hands of anxiety and stress. Scared to go to school, scared to attempt homework, scared to do anything that wasn't familiar. I saw my nervous ticks happening in class, I saw my old habits taking root and I was terrified of having to deal with this all again. Terrified that I was going to get chest pains, terrified that I wouldn't be able to stop crying or get out of bed.
Students are high risk for this, the pressure to succeed, the pressure to do well, the pressure to be perfect all the time, even when we know we can't, all contributes. I know that I struggle so much each and every day to make sure that all of my commitments are completed, that I have everything ready, that I am not a failure, that it is so easy for me to succumb to myself and my self doubt.
Today I took a mental health day: I made multiple cups of tea, sat in my bed, turned on Netflix and reached out to my friends for support. I did not do schoolwork, I did not prepare for tomorrow, I took some time for myself. Professors often forget, but we as students have a responsibility to remember that we are not machines, that we are not perfect and sometimes we have to let things go in order to succeed. If you know someone that struggles like I do, please reach out and support them, because everyone needs someone. Show them this blog as a small reminder!
Take it easy, till next time
Eleanor
A slightly disorganized, very passionate marketing major